OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2006
Hi all,
You know how air travel has supposedly made the world shrink to the size of a grapefruit. It’s bollocks. Yes, the planes fly further, faster and for longer but that just means we spend more time in transit lounges or circling airports waiting for permission to land.
I am speaking from experience.
My recent appearance at Bouchercon 2006 – the World Mystery Convention in Madison Wisconsin - was preceded by a 29-hour journey (note I didn’t say flight). It in fact took me less time to fly from Sydney to Los Angeles than it did to get from LA to Madison. I am now intimately acquainted with LAX. For example, the janitor who cleans the toilets in Terminal 9 is called Pablo and his sister once said hello to Bill Clinton but doesn’t have the blue dress to prove it.) I am also an acknowledged expert on Chicago style hotdogs ‘with the works’ having consumed two of them during my seven hour stay at O’Hare Airport (although I don’t know what the bright green relish stuff is – perhaps someone could enlighten me.)
I have had longer relationships with the Starbucks staff at Chicago’s O’Hare International than I managed with some of my past girlfriends (and equally sexually frustrating). O’Hare, I’ve decided, is the American equivalent of Frankfurt – the main hub. People meet, marry and start families in the transit lounges. I almost expected to see the famous graffiti scrawled on a toilet wall: ‘If Jesus came back tomorrow he’d have to change planes in Chicago.’
Bouchercon itself was great fun, despite being experienced through a constant fog of jet lag. Propping my eyes open, I attempted to be witty and intelligent on my panel, which was called XTREME WRITING – TAKING CHANCES OR PLAYING IT SAFE. I informed the audience immediately that while my books might not fall into the XTREME category, I do regard myself as a risk taker. For one thing I use a laptop with a Sony battery and that sucker could blow at any time.
My fellow panellists – Allan Guthrie, Russel McLean, Chris Knopf and Duane Slkjsadljslfkj (or correctly spelled as Swierczynski) were far more insightful and intelligent than me, particularly Allan, the little known inventor of the ‘pussy snorkel’ – a device often mistakenly used by cats trying to swim underwater.
Having survived my Boucheron initiation, I spent the next three days experimenting with a new cure for jet lag – not sleeping at all. I managed to beat Mark Billingham at pool (he accidentally sank the black while six balls in front). I lost at Foosball while partnering Karen Slaughter. And I saw the world record broken for the longest pool game ever played between Dan Fesperman and Laura Lipman. (It takes real skill ‘NOT’ to sink balls on a table that small).
All of these events were played out in a bar which, I swear, came straight out of the movie ‘The Accused’. The only thing missing was Jodi Foster getting banged over the juke box.
The city of Madison was completely charming, with its plastic cow statues and mini-version of the White House. The city is filled with picture postcard double-storey houses with picket fences, wooden porches and pick up trucks parked out front. But what really gives the city its MOJO is the University of Wisconsin. Forty thousand students – young, good looking girls and guys who fill the bars and coffee shops. I wanted to be twenty again. I wanted to have an English accent like Billingham. (You remember that storyline in Love Actually about the gormless Brit who goes to America and becomes a complete chick magnet? That was in Wisconsin.)
I saw some great sessions. The best of them partnered Laura Lipman, Mark Billingham, John Connolly and Dan Fesperman who revealed their guilty pleasures. I wanted to give John Connolly a standing ovation when he suggested that all people who utter the phrase ‘I don’t read fiction because it’s made up’ should be hung outside public libraries and small boys allowed to set fire to them.
Enough of Bouchercon. It is over for another year. The next one is in Anchorage, Alaska, with Alexander McCall Smith as the international guest of honour. I’d love to be there, but will wait and see.
I am back at my desk, working on novel number four, which is going too slowly, as always. For those of you (all of you I hope) who are waiting for THE NIGHT FERRY, the publication dates are creeping closer. April 12 in the UK and June 12 in America. Australia roughly in between. I’ll post the European dates as they become available. (I think the Netherlands will early in 2007). Before then we all have to survive Christmas and the New Year.
For any of you who want a sneak preview of THE NIGHT FERRY, I’ve included a link to the opening chapter. Click here. (pdf format)
Some of you may have noticed my website redesign. I also have a new server, which hopefully will guarantee that these newsletters now arrive rather than disappearing into the electronic ether. Some of the differences to the site you hopefully won’t notice. For instance, there is now a separate web site for the US, UK and Australia, with software that automatically redirects people to the site they should be viewing. This will hopefully prevent confusion over my books having different names in different countries.
Let me know if you have any suggestions for the FAQ section. A few new questions wouldn’t go astray.
And if you don’t want to be e-mailed the newsletter, just let me know and I’ll take you off the mailing list.
WHAT I’M READING:
THE MISSION SONG - John Le Carré: BRILLIANT - the guy just does it over and over and over again.
THE BOOK THIEF - Marcus Zusak: Marcus is an Australian writer and this book was initially written for children and much like Mark Haddon’s CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT TIME has become a huge international hit among readers of all ages. It’s the story of a young girl in Nazi Germany who steals books to save them from Nazi book burnings.
WHAT I’M WATCHING:
GREY’S ANATOMY - The series cliffhanger ending was last week. (Don’t tell me what happens to Burke.)
BOSTON LEGAL - Denny Crane. (The name says it all.)
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:
K.D. LANG - Hymns from the 49th Parallel
It’s her tribute to Canadian song writers, with a brilliant rendering of Neil Young’s ‘Helpless’ and ‘After the Goldrush’.
Happy Reading .
Michael
PS. You can now view old newsletters as well from here. Just click away...